Emotional avoidance

 Saying goodbye is one of life’s most challenging moments. Whether it’s leaving a company, ending a relationship, or parting ways with someone who’s been part of your daily life, the emotions that come with goodbyes can feel overwhelming. What’s interesting is how many people react to those emotions by shutting down, withdrawing, or even avoiding the person they’re leaving behind. The reality is, goodbye often brings up discomfort, fear, and even guilt that many don’t know how to process.

When emotions like these rise to the surface, it’s not uncommon for people to avoid them entirely. They might feel like retreating into silence is the easiest way to escape the vulnerability of expressing their true feelings. After all, confronting emotions is rarely comfortable—especially when saying goodbye means acknowledging loss, change, and uncertainty.

This fear of facing difficult emotions isn't a sign of malice. In many cases, it’s more about self-protection. Some people may not know how to communicate what they feel or might worry about making the situation more awkward than it already is. In others, it may stem from a fear of getting too attached or being unable to handle the feelings that come with parting ways. They might even worry that showing emotion could somehow make the goodbye feel more painful.

But what happens when one person refuses to engage with these emotions and retreats, leaving the other feeling abandoned or confused? This dynamic can create tension, especially if the one who’s being ignored is hoping for closure, reassurance, or an honest conversation. It leaves an unsettling sense of “unfinished business,” as though the emotions are left hanging in the air, unresolved.

However, it’s important to remember that the inability or refusal to talk about emotions often says more about the other person’s struggle with vulnerability than it does about you. They might not be ready to deal with the truth, and that can make you feel like an afterthought. But that’s their process, not a reflection of your worth or how important you are.

So, what can you do when someone ignores your emotions during a goodbye? The most important thing is to give yourself the space and time to process your own feelings, rather than relying on the other person to provide closure or emotional validation. Not everyone is capable of having the conversations we need to feel heard, especially when it comes to something as heavy as saying goodbye.

Instead of seeking answers or closure from someone who isn’t ready to face their own emotions, try to find peace within yourself. Reflect on the relationship or experience, acknowledge the feelings that come up, and allow yourself to grieve the parting in your own way. And remember: it’s okay to feel hurt, confused, or even angry. But it’s also okay to move forward, knowing that not everyone will have the emotional capacity to handle goodbyes the way you might wish.

By embracing your own emotions and giving yourself the opportunity to heal, you free yourself from relying on others to make sense of what you’re feeling. And in time, you'll find a way to move on, even if the goodbye wasn’t as clean or as fulfilling as you might have hoped.