A letter to my inner child

 

Dear Inner Child, Gillian Robyn,

Do you remember when you dreamed of having a swimming pool in your front yard, spent afternoons cooking potato peels with Ma, or enjoyed an ice lollipop while watching your favorite wrestling matches on TV? Or those quiet Friday afternoons when you’d unwind with a Chinese movie? You always found comfort in the small things, didn’t you? The simple pleasures of childhood, when joy was found in moments that seemed so insignificant to the world, yet meant the world to you.

You can still feel the sting of when you’d hurt and wish that your mother understood your emotional state of mind. You ran to your gran for comfort and love. It was always comforting to know that, even in those lonely moments, there was always someone who truly understood you. Do you remember that? The way you felt when someone saw your heart and made everything feel okay?

You discovered music at such a young age, and it became your lifeline, didn’t it? The music that you danced to on the coffee table in the lounge, the LPs you played on the deck player... how much it filled you with joy. Your heart always beat to a rhythm, and you could not get enough of it. Even now, the music lives on. From the sound of your love for dance to the way music continues to weave itself into the tapestry of your life, it's all a beautiful part of who you are.

I want to remind you of your love for writing stories, for drawing pictures on computer paper with holes on the side. That creativity, that spark—you’ve always had it. Remember when you and your sister built a business together, dreaming big, hoping for that billion-dollar phone call? Oh, how you loved that phone, and now, here you are, teaching others how to speak on it.

You’ve been through so much. Do you recall the hurt you felt when your uncle left for Cape Town? It was painful, but it also made you stronger. Each goodbye, each moment of growth, has shaped you into the person you are today.

Cleaning the house became your form of therapy, though sometimes it felt like you were just being used. But, in those moments, you learned the importance of running your own household, creating a sense of stability and order in the chaos of life.

Ballet—oh, how you loved it. You still do. Cooking, writing, dancing, the phone... all the things you loved as a child, you still carry them with you today. You became a chef because of your passion for food, a call agent because of your love for conversation, and you’ve never stopped writing and creating. And now, you’ve owned three businesses—three!

You still watch wrestling on TV, and when you zone out, no one gets the best of you until you’re ready. You’ve learned to put yourself first, and it's beautiful.

But let me remind you: You are so much more than you ever realized. You are immensely loved and admired by so many, yet at times, you forgot your own worth. You let the opinions of others, who didn’t understand your sensitivity, cloud your beautiful light. It’s time to embrace who you are.

Little Gilly, I want you to know that you are perfect just as you are. Let go of what no longer serves you. Reset and start again. You deserve to live freely, laugh loudly, and love yourself deeply. You deserve the billionaire status, the good food, the wrestling with a glass of wine, and everything your heart desires. You’ve worked hard for it all, and you’re worthy of every bit of it.

Shut out the negativity, the liars, the pain, and the emotional torment. They do not define you. Instead, ignite your passion, and manifest everything you’ve always dreamed of because, my love, it’s already within you. You have everything you need.

I love you. I’m sorry for the times I wasn’t kind to you. Please forgive me. And most of all, accept and embrace you—just as you are.

With love, Gillian aka Gilly, Gills, Mayo, Giblets

P.S. Let’s laugh again, shall we? You've always had that amazing sense of humor, and the world needs that light more than ever.