The new book theme?

I’ve recently noticed a pattern in my professional life that I can’t ignore. It started about four years ago with "C," who was my CEO at the time. Two years ago, it was "S." And recently, "P." All three of them crossed my path in different ways, but as I reflect on these experiences, I’m starting to question whether there’s something bigger at play. Why do I seem to be drawn to CEOs, or, perhaps more accurately, why are they drawn to me?

The first experience I had was with C, an introverted leader who opened up to me in ways that felt almost unique. Over the course of several months, we had daily conversations that ranged from casual to deeply personal. I got to know him in ways I hadn’t expected. After our time together, C ended up in Scotland with his ex-wife, and I couldn’t help but feel that his interest in me had transcended the professional. It left me with more questions than answers—what exactly had he seen in me?

Then there was S, a strong, dominant force within the company. He was always in charge, but never in my face. I simply did my work and stayed out of the spotlight. However, after I left the company, something unexpected happened. SJ confessed that he had been in love with me, and what shocked me even more was that he spent months after I left trying to nurture a friendship that had a deeper emotional weight. It was a revelation that I never saw coming. Why was he so drawn to me once I wasn’t there anymore?

And then there’s P, who reminds me so much of C but also feels like something more. The connection with P has been more profound, more intense, and in many ways, it has left me broken in ways I didn’t anticipate. P has challenged me emotionally and intellectually, and the connection we share feels different from anything I’ve experienced before. But why do I feel like he has had such a strong impact on me—perhaps even more than the other two?

Looking back, I find myself asking the same question over and over: Why do I feel this inexplicable attraction to CEOs? Or more accurately, why do they seem to be attracted to me? It’s hard to ignore the fact that all these connections happened either as I was leaving the company or after I had already made my exit. It’s as if they knew something about me before I knew it myself.

Perhaps it’s not as complicated as it seems. CEOs, by nature, tend to be ambitious, powerful, and influential—qualities that can be incredibly magnetic. And for someone like me, who values hard work and connection, I may be naturally drawn to them in ways I don’t always understand. There’s something undeniably captivating about their presence, their leadership, and their ability to make things happen. Maybe I’ve been seeking validation or admiration from individuals who represent success and status. Or maybe it’s simply the way they see me—someone who stands out, who can hold a conversation, and who offers something more than just a professional relationship.

On the flip side, it’s possible that these CEOs saw something in me that set me apart from others. Perhaps it was my ability to connect on a deeper level, to offer insights that resonated with them in ways they didn’t expect. As powerful individuals, they may have been drawn to the rare moments of vulnerability that can come with real connection, especially with someone who wasn’t intimidated by their position. In some ways, I became a confidante, someone they could trust. But why did it only seem to happen when I was on my way out?

The more I reflect, the more I realize that these relationships—these connections—are complex. They aren’t just about power or status; they’re about the emotional bond that forms between two people. These experiences have challenged me to think more deeply about what I’m looking for in relationships, both professionally and personally. They’ve forced me to question what I need, what I value, and how I define healthy, fulfilling connections.

In the end, I’m left wondering: was I the one seeking out these powerful figures, or were they the ones drawn to me? Either way, these experiences have shaped me in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. The emotions, the connections, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way will stay with me as I move forward in my life and career. And as for the future? I’m still figuring that out, but I know one thing for sure—I’ve learned a lot about myself through these powerful, sometimes painful, relationships with CEOs.