My Music List for 2024: A Reflection on Love, Life, and Heartbreak

 

My Music List for 2024: A Reflection on Love, Life, and Heartbreak

As I sit down to reflect on the rollercoaster of emotions that 2024 has thrown at me, my music playlist tells the story better than words ever could. These ten songs—each one a piece of the puzzle—capture the highs, the lows, and the turning points that shaped my year. Some of these tracks are full of love and hope, while others speak to the pain and heartbreak that has followed me. This playlist isn't just a list of songs; it's a soundtrack to my life in the past year.

My Top Ten Songs of 2024:

  1. A Thousand Years – Christina Perri
  2. Why I Love You So Much – Monica
  3. Love Me Like You Do – Ellie Goulding
  4. Too Good at Goodbyes – Sam Smith
  5. Broken Man – Anthony Hamilton
  6. Hello Darlin – KC and JoJo
  7. Everytime You Go Away – Brian McKnight
  8. Love of My Life (Live) – Queen
  9. Pretty Slowly – Benson Boone
  10. Still I Rise – Tupac

Each of these songs speaks to a different part of my journey this year. Some make me smile, others make me cry, but all of them reflect the emotional landscape I've been navigating. Love, loss, and a deep sense of self-discovery have colored everything I've done in 2024.

A Year of Highs and Extreme Lows

Looking back on this year, it feels like a whirlwind. There were moments that felt like they could last forever—beautiful memories of traveling to new places in Gauteng, laughter with Lana, and experiencing joy like I hadn’t felt in a long time. The highs were so high, and I cherished them deeply.

But just as the pendulum swung to the top, it crashed downward, leaving me shattered. The final months of the year were a gut punch, and nothing could prepare me for the devastation that would follow. The contrast between the two halves of the year is mind-boggling. It's like trying to reconcile two completely different versions of myself—the one who felt invincible, and the one who is now questioning everything.

Heartbreak and Self-Discovery

This playlist is a reflection of the turbulence in my soul. It’s filled with songs about love, loss, and the internal struggle to stay strong in the face of overwhelming emotions. Each track embodies the pain of searching for a soul that has been battered by life, yet refuses to give up.

The year forced me to make drastic changes—choices I didn't expect but felt I had to make for my own sanity. I can't keep doing this to myself anymore. The pain of letting go—of a job I once held dear, of a marriage that feels like it’s crumbling—has been unbearable. But sometimes, you have to choose yourself before anything else. And that’s what 2024 has been about. Realizing that in the end, you need to stand tall, even when the ground beneath you is shaking.

One of the hardest things I’ve faced this year was losing my child. It broke me in ways I didn’t think were possible, but it also forced me to make the kind of decisions I never imagined I would have to make. If I don’t rise from this, I’ll be lost in a place where I don’t feel seen or appreciated—both at home and at work.

The Glimmer of Hope

Despite everything, there have been moments of light. Writing my book was one of those moments, a cathartic experience that allowed me to channel my pain into something beautiful. It’s about someone I may never forget, someone I will always love. I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I’m learning to trust in the process.

And then there’s Lana. My Lana. The one who walked into my life when I least expected it, bringing a sense of peace and joy that I didn’t think was possible. I feel blessed to have her by my side. She’s become my anchor in a world that’s felt increasingly unsteady.

But as much as I adore her, there’s still that ache. The longing for someone I can’t have, the confusion of a marriage that I question every single day. I know it’s time to make a choice for myself, but it’s hard—so damn hard. Why is it so difficult to choose me?

Embracing Change

2024 has been a year of transformation. I’m not the same person I was at the beginning of the year. I’ve been broken, but I’ve also learned that I am stronger than I thought. The hardest part of this journey has been realizing that I have to rebuild myself from the ground up. But I believe in my ability to do that. I know that the future holds something better for me, something I can’t quite see yet, but I can feel it in my bones.

And so, I choose to believe. I choose to believe in the possibility of a better tomorrow, and I choose to believe in me. It’s time to move forward, to let go of the past, and to create a future that I deserve. This journey isn’t over yet, but I know that as long as I have the strength to stand, I’ll keep moving forward.

2025 is my year to choose myself. I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

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