Acquaintances

 Acquaintances are easy to come by. So many want the entitlement of best friend or friends. I am here for you is the words I hear lately. Many have crossed my path, for a season, reason or lifetime. Can I say a lifetime? I will never know until my journey has been lifted to the Nirvana. Right now, I look around through some really bad blows to my health, my husband's health and so forth and I think who has  lived up to the expectation of I am here for you! My husband, is a definite. Let us define what is I am here for you. Where is here? There? I am not sure. I can't begin to express my disgust for those words. Here, is right here, passing me the tissues and crying with me. That is here for you. Not a message, that is emotionless to me. Not a kiss on a virtual plane, or a telepathic hug. Right here for you, means at this moment I have taken time out of my day, and made it about you. You know, I know not everyone is about that, and I am probably so in tune with others emotions that I fulfill the role of a true person. Anything happens, the bonds are tightly harnessed and I am there. Not here. I am there, wherever the hell you are. I am honest and trustworthy, I will take my last, without you knowing and make sure you have more than I do. But when you are taking because you have nothing left to give, I can imagine the distraught feelings and harsh realities. But here I am, the strong one, needing someone to be right here, and where is right here? Not one soul has entered my gate or sat with me while I cry for the babies I lost, or my husband finding out he has diabetes. Life goes on for many, the parties, fun and life. But no one will make it about you, until it is all about them. The takers of the world. You add a status to your whatsapp, and you apparently going through something and they are "here" for you. This is why I have so greatly given up monstrous friendships for the ability to make it about me, and when I chose me, I lost many as a result because it was all about them. I cannot stand the false emotions and sincerity is chucked out of the door. Where do I begin to express that my tribe is my husband, Lana and me. Just the three of us, walking through life with the best intentions, with our ancestors, our Lord Buddha and the blessings that flow for us three. I needed a hand, I got a slap. A universal rude awakening. I need to be here for me. It's about time! Until you hug yourself. G xxx

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